Finally. 3am. Completed 20 ideas to submit later...
No examination but project killing me. Haha!
Tomorrow gonna be so absolute empty.
I want hard liquor. I need more more alcohol.
And it's a monday later on. Damn. So screwed up.
Haiz sad sad sad sad.
Got nothing to do after school.
Maybe will go home and continue finishing my work.
And you. Yes you!
Hahss... Dunno how arh.
Missing you like hell. Omgosh!
No alcohol so freaking difficult to control.
Fucke tziss lifeke...
Rather don't believe in love anymore. Unless it's you.
Heee! Hello everyone. It's 4am.
And yes. I am blogging at this time.
Cause I just reach home not long and bathed.
So morning. Went out with mom eat breakfast!
Afternoon chiong my 101 ideas on the theme "Hair".
Night went Shauny's graduation party! Congrat you ass!
Haha. Met new friends! Drank some shit.
Midnight wenta find Christine and co.
Please fucking wake up your mind.
Disappointment ass fucker fucks.
Really make me feel like L****.
Waste so much time. Shit.
What else is in my mind.
Tomorrow gonna be so dead.
Have to finish up my project.
And I only finish 5/20.
Meaning 15 more to go.
Can't out anymore.
Sad.
No idea why.
I thought I got over you.
But when I look at your fb photo.
I smile to myself so natural and notice it.
Wondering what's gonna on with me. Must be the alcohol.
Dunno how. Dunno why. I can't put my mind aside. I can''t let go.
With you my life... Blah blah blah blah blahh. Away from you......?
I so freaking forgot the lyric of the song. Haiz. Sad luh. Lol!
It's the song you sent when trying to forget that guy.
Before you fly back to your country.
For sure you remember it.
HAHAHA!
Maybe I am just running away.
But it's good for both you and you. ^^
Afternoon wake up went Simei bball!
That's my love man! I <3 BBALL!
Played till evening. Haha.
Then here and there.
Night had fun.
Weee! Drank some shit.
Feeling so high tired and sleepy...
Decided to stop all of this.
So what if I'm alone.
I can do this alone.
No need you.
Sad and not sad.
Happy? Not happy? No idea.
So thousand million mix of emotions.
ONE LAST THING.
IF YOU FUCKING HATE ME.
TELL ME YOU FUCKING BITCH.
DUN BITCH BEHIND MY FUCKING BACK.
CAUSE I AM SO GONNA HATE YOU FOR LIFE.
I FUCKING HATE YOU. FOR SAYING THAT SINGLE WORD.
YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK YOU FUCKING BITCH.
Dunno why. But this best describe me. ^^
this is call blank.
A post before I go to sleep!
Hah as some of you know. My life is screwed.
So super damninating. I dunno what to do anymore.
Now I approach people. Like out of pity.
Haiz... My courage is once again lost. In the darkness.
I am so tired as I didn't sleep for a night. Vision blurry now.
Basically just feel damn ultranating urber sad arh. Haiz...
That the one I love doesn't have feelings for me.
Hahaha! Shitinating man.
If the effort that I put in is not enough, I will make it twice.
I know that I am more than willing to put in thrice and fourth the effort.
Just to be able to be the one to make you smile and laugh everyday.
June holiday is coming up. I pushed all events away.
And I know most likely. It's not gonna be a happy holiday for me.
Reason is obvious. Everyone know what reason make me sad.
Night peep! Until the next post. <3
I should really start telling people I have blog. And linking people.
My chatbox is so empty and omg!... Depressing... =(
Firstly. Congratulation to the champions. Happy!
Can't describe it other than the word "happy".
So much can happen in a day. Different views and opinion.
I dunno. Which to believe. Who to believe. How to believe.
Answer only one person can tell me. Stress topic to think.
Today was a complete fun day for me.
Taken 1k photographs for ccss sport carnival!
Totally enjoy doing video and seeing happy faces!
And to my fucking horror. I sucks at photography.
Weeee... And I am gonna screw up my photography module.
Congratulation to myself Jackson Toh... Omg wanna die le.
Dunno how and what to do to save myself...
Slack in ccss. Amazing calmness. Love it.
And i swear my heart is like confirm hundred percent set.
No more changing of heart.
All the emo and unsure feelings were gone.
Remembered some sentences you said very clearly.
However only so much can be define from those sentence.
Followed by the bballers. Make me feel proud. Gosh...
Feel good about them. Even through I am not with them. My spirit is!
Later met up went ecp chalet. Done nothing. But it was fun.
Had dinner there. Damn I wanna eat rice...
Went back home. Found out I sucks in photography.
Not sad through. Cause I ripe what I sow...
Lol blame it on me easily distracted.
I wanna know... Everything and anything about you.
Anyway loves today. Wouldn't mind if everyday was like this...
Give me a wish. My wish would be to be able to stay beside you. Always. ><
I put in 100 percent of my heart. Haha.
Lol can't believe I tried so hard to solve a dumb question.
Nonsense. What people call this. Self invitation. I am dumb enough.
Still I can't stood still while there is something going on.
Work at my own leisure. I am indeed lifeless.
So true said by my very own classmate.
I continue to trust and believe.
Lost in my own world.
Randomly like fuck.
And it's fun!
Kaka!
I can't let go. ><
FUCK THE SERIOUS ME. NO MORE! =D
One day.
Dunno when. Dunno how.
But you will understand how I feel someday.
How fragile I am.
The helpless feeling.
Extreme cold and emptiness.
Feeling of spending days like me.
Lastly my one and only greatest fear.
Someday that you couldn't find anyone.
And will rather stay up alone than finding anyone else.
Slowly allowing time to tick and pass away.
It's all part of growing through.
So I will endure this by myself. And keep enduring.
Finally until the day I can't handle anymore.
Then I will see what to do again.
My current state is pathetic.
Hiding everything and behaving fine.
Only can express and type words into this blog.
It's a whole new brand of emotions.
I being super negative.
Haven't smile and laugh since.
Real scare I might get depression.
A sickness which no absolute one can detect...
Tabi No Tochuu.
English Cover... (Even better)
Why try so hard. Thought for a while...
Amazed I found reasons for myself.
I'm not ready. For anything.
What I am looking for.
Finding the even older me.
The one I enjoyed being.
Definitely not the current me.
The fat one.
The idiotic one.
The childish one.
The one that is random.
The one that dun care one's feeling.
The one that must win and must not lose.
The one that keep shooting words and swear at people.
The one that could smile in Chinese class and get scolded for smiling.
As for now? Fuck my life man. It's way too down.
I want and need someone to support me.
One that care. And give a damn.
Through not here yet.
But it'll not be you. Congratulation.
Cause nightmare is over.
Time for me to wake. <3
Waking up and seeing no one beside.
Paths. Two paths too far apart to be called destiny, yet too close to be called fate.
In my dream you are mine. But in my life you are a dream...
You mean so much to me. But I'm not sure what I mean to you.
So true to me! D=
I had this dream on the 7th December. Maybe it won't be fulfilled...
However. Will never give up. I live for. This dream.
At least for now. I push myself with this. =)
When I'm down. That dream keep me back on track. ^^
Re-post from Sya's photo.
It is all a dream then... Nothing more. ><
So sweet I have to repost. But this is actually depressing right. ==''
Re-post from Hidir's blog.
Above the sky. There's cloud. Further on. There's stars! =D
Dun be so close to me. I dunno wad will I do to u. So, Siam!
Extracted from one of my friend. Sorry for using your sentence.
Am even more sorry for you to see this sentence here. Haiz... Sorry.
I am sure anyone who visit my blog will see my dp.
Yes it show how I feel. Just like a living dead person.
But I am not emo okay! It's like part of me... This display picture.
Keep repeating and trying day by day.
Over and over again. Every night.
What I dream of is you.
A lot happened.
Can't pen it down here.
Family chalet was amazing.
Will always be in my memories.
Haha it's a real pity but no choice. >_<
I am a lot being better.
Decided to crawl out of emo.
However school still creep me out...
It's undeniable fact that I am growing up.
And every single day count to every checkpoint. =(
The world is scary alone.
And unfortunately. I am alone... =C
